Relationship Challenges are not limited to those of a romantic nature; they can include any kind of relationship, co-workers, family, friends, neighbors, or spouse. The exchange is a mirror to our own inner balance and inner relationship. I have a few tips that you may find helpful in assessing where you stand in your relationship and what you may choose to act on regarding it.

  1. Change things up, be objective:
    • Look at patterns your encounters take and try something new.
    • If you tend to listen to your body and take cues from this, do you listen to your libido or your brain? You don’t want to compromise your personal power but don’t be overly analytical either.
    • To shift the pattern and tone of being negative with a person maybe it will be a good change to send them a heart felt smile.
    • When someone tries to push their weight around remain in a heart space and in your personal power to diffuse this energy.

  2. Ask yourself, am I trying to control or am I being controlled?
    • This is the biggest barrier in relationships and sometimes not easy to see when you may be the one trying to control.
    • To find out if you are controlling, ask yourself; “Do I want things to turn out a certain way? Am I trying to have the outcome being someway that I desire rather than letting it occur in its own way?” If you say yes, then this is a form of control.

  3. Is my heart open or am I closed and protecting myself?
    • This is a wounded state but it can be difficult to assess this especially if I have fallen into a state of protection for a long time.
    • This can be easily triggered in challenging and controlling times. Sometimes the more emotionally committed we are in a relationship the more the sense of protection can emerge.
    • Practice just noticing your feelings by stepping aside and trying to view things from a different vantage point or objectivity.
    • Listen to your body, your breath, am I holding tension anywhere? These may be cues that I am in a state of protection.

Teresa Van Lanen of Making Art of Life and Soul Connection, is an Occupational Therapist, Life Coach, SoulCollage® facilitator and Reiki practitioner.
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She works with individuals who are wishing to connect with their inner spirit for a balanced happy life. Look for her fall Soul Connection workshops this month on the events page of her website.

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